Chapter 1...

For those of you who know me, know that I love to write. Since before I became a mother, I have been working on a romance/adventure novel. But I have very little confidence in my writing. I have decided to put pieces of my writing in here...and maybe get some constructive critism from my family and friends...

Chapter 1

When she looked back to the beginning of her important memories, they started the night she met Michael Kendall. Those memories, burning hot even now, as she looked back to the night Torrance met her husband. She was a young seventeen, senior in high school, on the road to graduating at the top of her class. Despite her book smart, she had a fondness for the immaturity she could escape in, with her age being the excuse.
Michael Kendall was a well known neighborhood boy. Though no longer a boy, he grew up in the same neighborhood she had, walked the same streets to school, and hung at the same donut shop as she did now. Though she never really took much notice of him, until he was 21, three years in law school, when she did it hit her like a tidal wave.
It was a Friday night that changed the course of her life, attending a frat party her mother had no hint of, with her best friend Jill. As soon as they walked through the front door, she saw him. That was the night she met Michael.
She tried to play the attraction off, as well as a seventeen year old girl could. She and Jill made the rounds, circling the keg and drinking games that seemed to be going on in every corner of the house. As they walked, she listened half heartedly to the conversation flow between Jill and another high school friend. Her eyes searched out Michael as he moved through the crowd, laughing at something his friend said. But as she searched his face, for any imperfection, his eyes met hers. Her heart did a flip flop as he smiled, and she had no doubt that smile was meant just for her.
“Tori, Tori!” Jill harshly whispered as she tugged on her friend’s arm. Her only response was a quiet “Hmmm?”
“Tori, he’s a college guy. He could be like 26 or something. Your mom would flip if you brought him home for dinner!” Jill exclaimed. She could obviously sense the sparks flying between Michael and her friend, and was attempting to become the voice of reason, that only Tori thought only her mother had.
“Who cares,” Tori said, shrugging her shoulders at her friend. “She doesn’t know we’re even here, remember? Plus, that’s Michael Kendall, and he’s only 21. His little sister is a sophomore at our school and baby sits my neighbor’s kids. I happen to run into her a few days ago, and she was babbling on about her hot shot law school brother coming out to visit.” Of course Tori was making it sound much less interesting then it was. Once Michael’s sister started talking, Tori prodded her with questions about him, wondering about at least the basics.
She was so proud of her big brother, going to law school. He graduated high school with over a 4.0 and plenty of college credits to sail through his academic basics in college. He received an academic scholarship to a law school 45 minutes from home. He ended up playing football for college, but when he wasn’t studying or practicing he came home to visit his family. His mother had never been to college, as she had married their father right out of high school, and from that moment she’d been a housewife. Bobby’s father was a lieutenant for the highway patrol and was a very strict parent on both of his children.
“I just think you should…”Jill started, but Tori cut her off.
“Be careful right? I know this speech by heart, don’t bother repeating it. My mom does plenty of that already. Ok, I’m going to go talk to him, wish me luck,” she gave Jill a hug as she spoke and turned to walk away. She was pretty sure she heard Jill mutter “Good luck” under her breath.
It took Tori years to realize how those steps across the crowded party, changed her life forever.

2009 – 11 years later
Thinking back on the beginning makes the end seem even less likely. Not to mention the thought of the good times, only made the hard times hurt even more. Tears began to well in Tori’s eyes, and she didn’t bother brushing them away as they slid down her already tear stained cheeks. The warmth surprised her at this point, as she wasn’t sure she even had enough in her to cry anymore. The past two weeks had been a blur of tears and nothingness.
“Momma? Please don’t cry.” Her ten year old daughter Melissa walked into their living room. She shuffled to the window seat and climbed into her mother’s lap. Sitting in silence, they both stared out the window toward the setting sun. Below them, Central Park was still bustling with movement; people hurrying home from work with cell phones to their ears, joggers and the occasional couple walking hand in hand.



More to come later.... :-)

He's ALL mine....

After over 2 years of paperwork, signatures, paralegals, lawyers and judges...finally justice feels it's been served. This morning a judge finally ruled to terminate parental rights to Hayden's "donor". It has been almost 5 years since he's been in contact, and let's be honest there was never a time during my pregnancy or after Hayden was born that he was a supporting father in anyway shape or form. At times I still get so upset thinking about that last day , when I think of the position Hayden was put in. But I can only be so glad that I got smart very fast and made the right choices for my baby from that day forward.

I feel that Hayden was born for Arman's family. Maybe the lack of DNA makes the bond stronger in this family. He is a true Armenian little boy through and through. I am blessed by every power that is out there, whatever is out there, to have met Arman. He loves Hayden and the bond they have is incomparable to anything out there. The relief we feel after this morning is a wonderful feeling. And soon, though a piece of paper can't create love, our family will be legally whole.

This is how good I am...lol

I am so good that I completely forget I have a blog started for the family...I am seriously smooth!!! :-)

So quick update...

Arman and I are nearing our 2nd wedding anniversary next Tuesday. Time flies fast, but then we see everything that has happened in 2 years, along with having a baby...and suddenly it feels like longer then 2 years must have happened right? lol.

Hayden is playing T-Ball, which in itself is fun and hard as well. Trying to teach a 4 year old that it's ok he doesn't catch the ball EVERYTIME is hard. Especially when one of his teammates is "that kid" that never shares the ball and hogs all the plays. But Hayden is getting better at all aspects, and he loves it. Which is better then him being completely absorbed in video games. In a few months he'll be 5 and going to Kindergarden this year. I just can't believe it!!!

Drake turned a year old in December. He's got more attitude then any 1 year old I've ever known! He has a demanding personality, which I secretly think my mother in law got him started with, but now he's too big to carry him all day. So that little man can be EXHAUSTING! But he on the verge of walking. We all know he can, but he has this fear thing and always wants to hold someones hand while he runs around the house. We try and trick him to get him to do it on his own, but he just sits on his butt. lol.

This past Christmas was a hard one for me. My Nana (Nancy Turcotte - Dad's mother) passed away on the 26th. It was a shock to us all, and I have had a hard time handling the situation. I didn't get the chance to be very close to her, as I didn't grow up with that side of my family. We had the occasional calls and cards going back and forth. I had received the Christmas gifts from her and my Papa for the boys, but hadn't called to let them know we got them. And suddenly she was gone. I have dealt with guilt, grief, anger and depression over the situation. Aren't there steps to go through? lol. She was a wonderful woman. And I thank god all the time that she got the chance to meet her great grandsons last May, what a blessing in disguise that was. Wherever she is, I know she's laughing...and making others around her happy. And I know she wouldn't want me to mourn her for long...so I will smile cause that's what she would want.

Disneyland

So last weekend was Arman's 1ST visit to Disneyland! He's 31 years old, and has never been. So I decided to remedy this situation. And took him...without the kids. Yes I know horrible of me. But my reasoning is this...Hayden is too little for a lot of things, plus not to sound horrible...he gets too scared of things. So next year will be his year. We had a blast...totally acting like kids riding all the rides and meeting all the characters. It was so much fun to just watch him enjoy and let go of the stress of things that have been coming up lately. I wish for more times like this...

3 Months

I can't believe Drake is 3 months old already. It's amazing the little personality he has already. He loves his brother. Lights up when he sees one of his Grandmas. And we believe he's got a future in singing. He especially likes singing with Arman's mom! lol.




Just love his smile!!!

Working Mom

WOW, I guess I didn't realize how much I was going to dislike coming back to work! Hayden was 5 months old when I finally ventured back to work. And he was at home with my sister, so I had the most time possible with him. I don't know why I feel like I'm missing more this time around. Drake will be 3 months old on the 11th, and I feel like I'm missing so much. He seems to change before my eyes. I have 2 and a half hours after work, before I go to bed to take care of everything that needs to be handled, as in feedings, dinner, bathing, cuddling, playing and then finally getting everyone off to night night land. I'm afraid Hayden is being jipped cause I'm spread so thin. I know he acts out in regards to this. So I try as best I can to just slow down and be with him. And at the same time, relieve my mother in law, because I know she's had a very long day with both kids.
Working mothers around the country feel my pain with this, I know. I wish we were in the days still that it was affordable and comfortable to live with one income. I miss my family. I miss seeing my husband, as we have opposite shifts. Mondays are the worst...after having a few days of all family, having to switch back to the work mode.
I swear...I need to hit Megabucks. LOL. Maybe I should gamble first...lol.

Let's See...

What a world, where you can stay up to date in friends and families lives just by logging on to their blog. lol. Having kids makes me realize that updates happen extremely often. Every new word, first smile, first steps and so on...all those little things that do mean alot to me, and I know mean alot to the people close to me. So here I am...taking a page out of the Holloway book. Gotta respect their advice...anyone who can do it with 5 kids is impressive. LOL. :-)

So where to start...

I've realized that the hardest part of my day is leaving the house in the morning. Usually by the time I'm walking out the door Drake is awake and so happy. Hearing him talking and practically singing with Raya, just makes me want to stay home so I can cuddle him. I can't believe how much he is changing, and he's not even 3 months old yet. And I feel like I'm missing so much.

There's nothing better though, then coming home and having your kids just light up. Hayden wraps himself around my legs and tells me how happy he is I'm home. And I still think...WOW he's only 3, when half the time he seems so much older then that. Of course when I pick him up and try to devour him with kisses, he tells me I'm crazy. lol. Great...my toddler thinks I'm nuts.

When I finally pry Drake out of Raya's hands, lol, he will focus on me and give me his big gummy smile. And when I click my tongue at him he laughs and then tries to do it himself. I can just sit with him and laugh cause he smiles so freely now, at anyone that talks to him. Just a few more days and he'll officially be 3 months old. Crazy how fast it is going already.

As crazy as it is, working and being a mom. I wouldn't change anything. Not one thing. Arman and I will still do the travelling we want while the kids are small. And when they grow, we will take them with us, so they experience the world from different vantage points. The love in my heart for them is so overwhelming most of the time. My men are my life...and I love it! Even if they make me want to pull my hair out half the time! LOL